March 17, 2024

Overcoming Conflict

Passage: Ephesians 4:20-5:2, Matthew 5:1-10
Service Type:


  • Looking at overcoming conflict - this requires a lot from us
  • Tonight - thinking about conflict in the family
    • Husband and spouse
    • Parent and child
    • Siblings
    • The extended family
  • There will likely be conflict because these are close tied bonds - even though there ought to be great love
  • Example of American Poll - no. 1 failure of communication
  • Reasons for failure of communication:
    • Looking after our own needs
    • Pain/hurt
    • Always told you are wrong
  • The human heart ... because of sin
    • Before the fall - perfect union and communion between Adam and Eve
    • Sin came in - separating them from God and each other
    • Blame came in - of the devil and each other
  • God sent Jesus Christ to restore us to Himself
    • But also to restore our relationships to each other
    • God is sanctifying us - often in/through our relationships (example)
    • God wants us to have good relationships
  • Matt 5:9 - "Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God."
    • Jesus is describing Godly character
    • Such people are truly happy
    • They have great blessings (v1-10) - explanation
  • God has made peace between heaven and earth - by sending His Son / at the Cross
    • His children make peace with others and seek reconciliation
    • James 3:18

To Overcome Conflict

  • We need to be filled with the love of God
    • We are to imitate God - Eph 5:1
    • "Perfect love casts out fear"
    • Time in and of itself does not heal - in fact it can make things worse
    • We need the love of God
  • We need the wisdom of God
    • James 1:5 - Example of Solomon
  • We need to be reconciled to our brother/sister
    • Example
  • We need to seek our hearts
    • To see our own hearts and the things we have done
    • Do we have ego or wounded pride?
      • Prov 13:10
      • The best people to read about overcoming strife - the Puritans, Example of Richard Baxter
    • James 4:1
    • We must ask the Lord to search us and see if we have blind spots or are too sensitive
    • Ask for the same spirit that Jesus had
    • Are we most concerned about ourself or the other?
      • We can ask questions
      • Blessed are the peace makers
  • Listen before you speak
    • James 1:19-20
    • Prov 20:5
    • Two ears and one mouth
    • Take their words at face value
    • Listen with an attitude of love
      • Remember their virtues rather than vice
      • Seek reconciliation
  • Speak the truth in love
    • Prov 12:18 - damaging words
    • Eph 4:31
    • Not persuasive if abrasive
    • Saying sorry, asking for forgiveness, admitting being in the wrong, complimenting rather than criticising - helps
    • Prov 25:11
  • Seek reconciliation rather than resolution
    • Always have a forgiving spirit
    • Example of Stephen
    • Col 3:13 / Eph 4:32
    • Do your part - seek reconcilation
    • 1 Pet 3:7

Closing Remarks