Overcoming Conflict
Introduction
Looking at overcoming conflict – this requires a lot from us
Tonight – thinking about conflict in the family
Husband and spouse
Parent and child
Siblings
The extended family
There will likely be conflict because these are close tied bonds – even though there ought to be great love
Example of American Poll – no. 1 failure of communication
Reasons for failure of communication:
Looking after our own needs
Pain/hurt
Always told you are wrong
The human heart … because of sin
Before the fall – perfect union and communion between Adam and Eve
Sin came in – separating them from God and each other
Blame came in – of the devil and each other
God sent Jesus Christ to restore us to Himself
But also to restore our relationships to each other
God is sanctifying us – often in/through our relationships (example)
God wants us to have good relationships
Matt 5:9 – "Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God."
Jesus is describing Godly character
Such people are truly happy
They have great blessings (v1-10) – explanation
God has made peace between heaven and earth – by sending His Son / at the Cross
His children make peace with others and seek reconciliation
James 3:18
To Overcome Conflict
We need to be filled with the love of God
We are to imitate God – Eph 5:1
"Perfect love casts out fear"
Time in and of itself does not heal – in fact it can make things worse
We need the love of God
We need the wisdom of God
James 1:5 – Example of Solomon
We need to be reconciled to our brother/sister
Example
We need to seek our hearts
To see our own hearts and the things we have done
Do we have ego or wounded pride?
Prov 13:10
The best people to read about overcoming strife – the Puritans, Example of Richard Baxter
James 4:1
We must ask the Lord to search us and see if we have blind spots or are too sensitive
Ask for the same spirit that Jesus had
Are we most concerned about ourself or the other?
We can ask questions
Blessed are the peace makers
Listen before you speak
James 1:19-20
Prov 20:5
Two ears and one mouth
Take their words at face value
Listen with an attitude of love
Remember their virtues rather than vice
Seek reconciliation
Speak the truth in love
Prov 12:18 – damaging words
Eph 4:31
Not persuasive if abrasive
Saying sorry, asking for forgiveness, admitting being in the wrong, complimenting rather than criticising – helps
Prov 25:11
Seek reconciliation rather than resolution
Always have a forgiving spirit
Example of Stephen
Col 3:13 / Eph 4:32
Do your part – seek reconcilation
1 Pet 3:7
Closing Remarks