Old Llantrisant Hill
Introduction
- Looking at overcoming conflict - this requires a lot from us
- Tonight - thinking about conflict in the family
- Husband and spouse
- Parent and child
- Siblings
- The extended family
- There will likely be conflict because these are close tied bonds - even though there ought to be great love
- Example of American Poll - no. 1 failure of communication
- Reasons for failure of communication:
- Looking after our own needs
- Pain/hurt
- Always told you are wrong
- The human heart ... because of sin
- Before the fall - perfect union and communion between Adam and Eve
- Sin came in - separating them from God and each other
- Blame came in - of the devil and each other
- God sent Jesus Christ to restore us to Himself
- But also to restore our relationships to each other
- God is sanctifying us - often in/through our relationships (example)
- God wants us to have good relationships
- Matt 5:9 - "Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God."
- Jesus is describing Godly character
- Such people are truly happy
- They have great blessings (v1-10) - explanation
- God has made peace between heaven and earth - by sending His Son / at the Cross
- His children make peace with others and seek reconciliation
- James 3:18
To Overcome Conflict
- We need to be filled with the love of God
- We are to imitate God - Eph 5:1
- "Perfect love casts out fear"
- Time in and of itself does not heal - in fact it can make things worse
- We need the love of God
- We need the wisdom of God
- James 1:5 - Example of Solomon
- We need to be reconciled to our brother/sister
- We need to seek our hearts
- To see our own hearts and the things we have done
- Do we have ego or wounded pride?
- Prov 13:10
- The best people to read about overcoming strife - the Puritans, Example of Richard Baxter
- James 4:1
- We must ask the Lord to search us and see if we have blind spots or are too sensitive
- Ask for the same spirit that Jesus had
- Are we most concerned about ourself or the other?
- We can ask questions
- Blessed are the peace makers
- Listen before you speak
- James 1:19-20
- Prov 20:5
- Two ears and one mouth
- Take their words at face value
- Listen with an attitude of love
- Remember their virtues rather than vice
- Seek reconciliation
- Speak the truth in love
- Prov 12:18 - damaging words
- Eph 4:31
- Not persuasive if abrasive
- Saying sorry, asking for forgiveness, admitting being in the wrong, complimenting rather than criticising - helps
- Prov 25:11
- Seek reconciliation rather than resolution
- Always have a forgiving spirit
- Example of Stephen
- Col 3:13 / Eph 4:32
- Do your part - seek reconcilation
- 1 Pet 3:7
Closing Remarks