Tabor Baptist Church

• These words are relevant to us all
• Paul is writing to the new Christian church
• There are many things that could be written so why has God only given one area of teaching?
• Maybe easier to remember
• That there is one main teaching for each of us
• We have already read how we should be living as Christians
• In their mercies
• Bearing with and forgiving one another
• Now we have come to specific tasks
• The Christian family is very important to God
• Colossians, Ephesians, 1 Peter - written about in three different places
• Christian families need redeeming
• There is a fallen nature within us
• Wives have a tendency not to submit to husbands
• Husbands have a tendency to be bitter to the wives
• Children tend to be disobedient

Wives

• Paul does not write about his role first
• Paul writes in all three books about wives first
• Why is this?
• Perhaps one of the biggest areas of discord is over who has authority? ?phrasing (re-listen to recording)
• The word submit is not a negative word
• It does not mean inferior, oppression, inequality
• We must understand what Scripture teaches
• We must understand that the Bible teaches the husband has leadership
• Every institution needs a leader
• Marriage should be a place of refuge and harmony
• 42% of marriages end in divorce
• For many homes there is no peace or joy, but great conflict
• Eph 5:22ff
• The wife is likened to the Church and the husband to Christ
• How does the Church submit to the Lord?
• Willingly, with love
• We come under His protection
• The wife should submit in this way
• There is an order in creation: Adam was formed first and Eve was his compliment
• There is voluntary submission with respect
• There is submission in the fear of the Lord, it is obedience to Christ
• The wife should live in a way that pleases God
• The word submission is throughout the New Testament
• We are to submit to authority, to the Word of God, to Christ
• We are to be humble people respecting authority
• 1 Cor 11:3 - is Christ inferior to the Father?
• Christ voluntarily submits to the Father
• The word submission is not oppression but liberation
• As we submit to Christ we are free to adore Him, to love Him, to follow Him
• The word submission is not about inequality
• There is neither male nor female, slave nor free, etc
• We are all equal and one before God
• The word submission is talking about roles
• The wife never submits if the husband asks her to do something against God or something wrong
• The bible says the wife should submit in everything
• Wives are to submit to her husband
• There is not to be an interfering third party in the marriage

Husbands

• The logical thought is wives submit and husbands lead
• Some people think of 'headship' as the buzzword for husbands
• The main word is love
• Remember Christ
• He loves the Church with unconditional love
• He doesn't treat us as we deserve
• His blood covers over our sin
• Husbands are to love in this way
• The love spoken of here is 'agape'
• It is not 'eros' speaking of sexual attraction
• It is not 'phileo' speaking of deep friendship
• This is unconditional love without limits
• It is a love that truly forgives
• It is a love that loves not to receive but to give
• The world glorifies in romantic love
• This can often cause sadness and pain (e.g. Romantic love leading to adultery)
• God's love is a holy love, a self-giving love
• Eph 5 - the husband should love his wife as he loves his own body
•  He is to consider her daily needs
• Think again of Christ's love
• We cannot forgive the sins of our wives
• We need to follow the sacrificial spirit of Christ
• We are take the initiative and come along side
• Do not be bitter
• How does bitterness come in?
• Do we expect too much of our wives?
• Do our wives go ahead of us?
• Sometimes men can be cold and logical in their thoughts and not considering the emotion of the wives
• Sometimes we can be inconsiderate
• We are to dwell with our wives with understanding
• 1 Pet 3:7 - if we do not treat our wives well our prayers will be hindered
• We are not to go back to the Victorian model of marriage but the Biblical model of marriage
• It is not about dominance but leading and protecting
• Leading means providing and caring but not dominance
• It is important for husbands and wives to spend time together and to work together

• What has been dominating our thinking as the word has been preached?
• Let us not be concerned about our spouses role
• Let us look to ourselves first
• Lord help us to fulfil my role

Children

• Be obedient to parents in all things
• Today children are at the centre of society
• Children are very important but not too important
• Children need to know that parents are to be obeyed and honoured
• One of the 10 commandments is to honour your mother and father
• Some children are running riot, disrespecting the teachers, disobeying the parents
• We should do it because it is right
• It pleases God
• Lev 29 - the penalties for cursing parents
• Do not write about your parents on social media

Fathers

• Fathers are being particularly addressed (not both parents)
• Fathers are the head of the household
• Fathers will answer to God for the family
• Do not provoke children
• Children can be provoked through:
• Unrealistic expectations
• Overly harsh discipline
• Inconsistency
• Humiliation
• Double standards
• Encourage your children:
• Speak of the high biblical standard
• Come along side them
• Pray for them
• Confess when you have failed

Summary

• Wives submit
• Husbands love
• Children obey
• Fathers encourage
• How do we react to this?
• Lord lead us, give us grace
• Let one family help another family