February 18, 2024

Husbands love your wives

Passage: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13, Colossians 3:19, Ephesians 5:25-33
Service Type:


  • It is important for the Church to consider marriage and the family
    • In the UK 42% of all marriage ends in divorce
    • Around 25% of 'Christian' marriage end in divorce
    • This is very sad
  • It is an important subject
    • Addressed in Ephesians, Colossians, 1 Peter
    • Last year's activities
    • A few Sunday evenings looking at marriage and the family
  • The Biblical pattern
    • The women's role and the man's role
    • To look at man's role tonight
  • Problems:
    • "Who wears the trousers"
    • As Christians we are to be called like Christ - whether men or women
    • The closer we walk to Christ, the better our marriage will be
    • The key to a happy marriage is our relationship to Christ
  • Looking at the husband
    • It seems harder: to love their wives as Christ loved the Church
    • It is hard for women to submit
    • We do not speak about morality
    • We must be filled with the Spirit of God
  • Main verse - Col 3:19 "Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them"

Some misunderstandings:

  • Headship
    • The husband is the head of the wife/family
    • Men are called to leadership roles within the Church
      • 1 Cor 11:3
      • If Christ is happy to submit to God the Father, women should be happy to submit to their husbands (we will look at this next week)
    • Headship does not mean dictatorship
    • Headship does not mean dominance (examples) - husband and wife are one flesh, they work together as one
    • Many women want a man who is willing to lovingly lead and guide - a protector and provider
    • Husbands should not abdicate their responsibility - examples

Ephesians 5

  • Our text: Husbands love your wives
  • The emphasis for the husband: on love
    • v25, 28, 33
    • Women are called to love, but there is a specific call to men
    • Is not love the highest command of all Christians?
      • 1 Cor 13
      • Love is key to everything
      • We are to put on love, the bond of perfection (Col 3:14)
    • We are all called to love ... our enemies, God, our neighbour
    • The greatest thing you can do (love) - you must do in your marriage

What is love?

  • Greek words:
    • Eros - romantic/sexual love
    • Phileo - a deep friendship and companionship (Example of Eve)
    • Agape - a God like love, a sacrificial love
  • Put God first in your marriage
    • Prayer together
    • Read the Bible together
    • Go to Church together

Ephesians 5

  • Eph 5:25 - "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her"
    • Christ gave Himself for us on the cross
      • He paid a terrible sacrifice
      • He loved us so much - He was willing to take our place
      • He loved us so much - He was willing to die for us
    • So the husband is to have sacrificial love for his wife - examples
  • Eph 5:28 - "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself"
    • Look after your wife as you would look after your own body
  • Eph 5:33 - "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife"
    • No third party should enter into your marriage
    • Have eyes only for your own wife
    • Guard your wife - explanation

Practical Applications

  • Don't neglect your wife
    • Find things to do together
  • Seek to put her interests before your own - examples
  • Do not make decisions independently
  • 1 Pet 3:7 - "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."
    • Do you want your pray life to be hindered?
    • Understand your wife
    • Provide support and tenderness
  • A blessed and high calling
    • Eph 5:18 - be filled with the Holy Spirit
    • We all need this
  • 1 Cor 13:
    • Be kind and patient
    • Do not be envious or proud
    • Do not speak ill of your wife before others
    • Encourage each in truth - the Word and wholesome things
    • Be hopeful
    • Love never fails
  • Col 3:12-14
    • Do not drag things up from the past
    • Forgive one another
    • Do not let the sun go down on your anger
  • Col 3:19 - "...do not be bitter to them"
    • Men can be harsh, unfeeling or cold towards the wife
    • Men can lack understanding
    • Men can be bitter towards their wife
    • Husbands must not abuse their wives
    • Quotes

Closing Remarks

  • We fulfil the command by God's grace
  • It would not be given if we could not fulfil it
  • We will cannot do this perfectly, but we are called to meet this standard
  • Husbands love your wives