Husbands love your wives
Introduction
It is important for the Church to consider marriage and the family
In the UK 42% of all marriage ends in divorce
Around 25% of ‘Christian’ marriage end in divorce
This is very sad
It is an important subject
Addressed in Ephesians, Colossians, 1 Peter
Last year’s activities
A few Sunday evenings looking at marriage and the family
The Biblical pattern
The women’s role and the man’s role
To look at man’s role tonight
Problems:
"Who wears the trousers"
As Christians we are to be called like Christ – whether men or women
The closer we walk to Christ, the better our marriage will be
The key to a happy marriage is our relationship to Christ
Looking at the husband
It seems harder: to love their wives as Christ loved the Church
It is hard for women to submit
We do not speak about morality
We must be filled with the Spirit of God
Main verse – Col 3:19 "Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them"
Some misunderstandings:
Headship
The husband is the head of the wife/family
Men are called to leadership roles within the Church
1 Cor 11:3
If Christ is happy to submit to God the Father, women should be happy to submit to their husbands (we will look at this next week)
Headship does not mean dictatorship
Headship does not mean dominance (examples) – husband and wife are one flesh, they work together as one
Many women want a man who is willing to lovingly lead and guide – a protector and provider
Husbands should not abdicate their responsibility – examples
Ephesians 5
Our text: Husbands love your wives
The emphasis for the husband: on love
v25, 28, 33
Women are called to love, but there is a specific call to men
Is not love the highest command of all Christians?
1 Cor 13
Love is key to everything
We are to put on love, the bond of perfection (Col 3:14)
We are all called to love … our enemies, God, our neighbour
The greatest thing you can do (love) – you must do in your marriage
What is love?
Greek words:
Eros – romantic/sexual love
Phileo – a deep friendship and companionship (Example of Eve)
Agape – a God like love, a sacrificial love
Put God first in your marriage
Prayer together
Read the Bible together
Go to Church together
Ephesians 5
Eph 5:25 – "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her"
Christ gave Himself for us on the cross
He paid a terrible sacrifice
He loved us so much – He was willing to take our place
He loved us so much – He was willing to die for us
So the husband is to have sacrificial love for his wife – examples
Eph 5:28 – "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself"
Look after your wife as you would look after your own body
Eph 5:33 – "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife"
No third party should enter into your marriage
Have eyes only for your own wife
Guard your wife – explanation
Practical Applications
Don’t neglect your wife
Find things to do together
Seek to put her interests before your own – examples
Do not make decisions independently
1 Pet 3:7 – "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."
Do you want your pray life to be hindered?
Understand your wife
Provide support and tenderness
A blessed and high calling
Eph 5:18 – be filled with the Holy Spirit
We all need this
1 Cor 13:
Be kind and patient
Do not be envious or proud
Do not speak ill of your wife before others
Encourage each in truth – the Word and wholesome things
Be hopeful
Love never fails
Col 3:12-14
Do not drag things up from the past
Forgive one another
Do not let the sun go down on your anger
Col 3:19 – "…do not be bitter to them"
Men can be harsh, unfeeling or cold towards the wife
Men can lack understanding
Men can be bitter towards their wife
Husbands must not abuse their wives
Quotes
Closing Remarks
We fulfil the command by God’s grace
It would not be given if we could not fulfil it
We will cannot do this perfectly, but we are called to meet this standard
Husbands love your wives