Tabor Baptist Church

Introduction

• We live in a social age of different ways to communicate
• If we were to write this letter perhaps we would write it differently
• Paul is writing about a run away slave
• Paul is quite clever
• Paul recognises that Philemon is hurt by Onesimus
• Last time we looked at fellowship and forgiveness but today we are going to look at tactfulness

Affirming

• A tactful person knows how to affirm another
• Paul is writing to Philemon and lifts him up
• He speaks about Philemon in positive terms
• He was a godly man, he had a church in his own house
• He was a wealthy man, he had rooms in his house
• Although not a perfect man he is a hospitable man
• Paul understands his character
• Paul knows that Philemon has faith and love in Jesus
• Paul is affirming Philemon (v7)
• Paul was thankful that Philemon was being used by the Lord
• Paul is not jealous or bitter of him
• Infact Paul has great joy in Philemon
• Paul is not flattering Philemon
• Paul is speaking the truth
• Do we affirm others in the church?
• Col 4:9 - Onesimus had been restored
• He had been transformed by the Gospel
• He is faithful and beloved brother
• There was no distinction between slaves and the free in the church of Christ
• Slaves could become doctors and lawyers
• Many slaves were treated as rubbish
• Paul speaks about this run away slave from his own heart
• Col 4:10 - Mark
• Had failed Paul previously and not been allowed to go on a missionary journey
• Paul is holding him up and doesn't hold anything against him

Affection

• Christian tact is never calculating but affectionate
• There is warmth in Paul's greeting (v23)
• The Bible says let 'brotherly love continue'
• There is a story of a French person who wrote a love letter repeating the words 'I love you' 1.875 million times
• Do people get our message - do people know that we love them

Appeal

• Paul appeals to Philemon
• He could compel him but he appeals to him instead (v8)
• He would rather appeal to Philemon in love
• Paul doesn't command but appeal
• If God has reconciled us to himself, how can we not reconcile others to us?
• Col 3
• If we do not forgive, we will not ourselves be forgiven
• The blessings of forgiveness - peace, restoration and acceptance

Argument

• Paul wanted to keep Onesimus
• Paul didn't want to act without Philemon's consent
• Paul says that Philemon has a debt to Paul
• Paul is submitting to the will of Philemon (v14)
• It was God's purpose that Onesimus would run away (v15)
• That Onesimus would come to Rome
• That Onesimus would come across Paul
• That Onesimus would hear the gospel and be transformed
• That Onesimus would come back and be received forever
• Personal example of a man in Brazil who misused money, others who stole things because of poverty
• Maybe Philemon had been stolen from on multiple occasions - it seems he had many slaves
• Paul will repay any debt that is owed (v17-20)
• However, Philemon was converted through Paul's preaching
• Philemon owes Paul his own life
• Paul has confidence that Philemon will receive Onesimus (v21)
• There is a lot we can learn from this passage
• Think about this passage if we need to write a letter
• Prov 15:28 - "The heart of the righteous studies how to answer"
• Prov 25:11 - "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."

Action

• Paul will send Tychicus
• Paul will send payment if needed