"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." (Col 3:18)
Bible teaching always comes in context
Christians are alive in Christ
Col 2:13 "And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses"
Col 3:1 "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God"
This has a practical value
Put off the things of the old life, put on the things of the new life
Col 3:8-9 "But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another," – this applies to marriage too
Col 3:10 "put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him"
We could go further (v12)
Paul’s teaching about marriage never comes in a vacuum
Husbands and wives are both new creations in Christ
Paul does the same in Eph 5 with the preceding verses in Eph 4:20-24
Marriages go wrong for two reasons:
The husband fails to understand and care for his wife – examples
The wife fails to submit to her husband – examples
Marriage goes wrong when we do not follow biblical teaching
Overview:
Meaning of submission
Direction of submission
Scope of submission
Helps in submission
Meaning of submission
1 Cor 11:3
God is the head of Christ, Christ is the head of man, man the head of the woman
Jesus voluntarily put Himself under His Father’s authority
God became the head of Christ
If Jesus should put Himself under His Father – should it be difficult for wives to be subject to the husband, as both husbands and wives willing submit to Jesus?
If a husband is not loving – it is difficult for a wife to submit
If a husband is loving – it is a gladness for a wife to support her husband
What does it mean?
To help, not be a hinderance
To respect
1 Peter 3:5 – their beauty was a gentle and quiet spirit
1 Peter 3:6 – respect
Eph 5:33 – respect
The attitude of the heart: respect and honouring
Obedience
Husband and wife have become one flesh
Likened to the union of Christ and the church
Joined together into a team
Different roles
Example of Aquilla and Prescilla or Elizabeth and Zacaharias
Not that the husband runs everything – this is dictatorship, abuse and control
Mutual decisions
Yielding to the husband unless morally wrong or clearly unwise
James 3:17-18 – biblical wisdom
Example of the women in Proverbs
Not subjection
Part of the curse – Gen 3:16 "Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you."
Different interpretations … but both are part of the curse
The usual roles affected
Headship existed before the fall
Egalitarianism vs Complimentarianism
It does not mean inferiority
Both man and woman are created equal in the sight of Gof
Gal 3:28 – "there is neither male nor female"
In Roman society – they treated women badly
God treats women very well in the Bible – examples
Roles in marriage
Quote from John MacArthur
Direction of submission
To "your own husband" Col 3:18
It would not be fitting for a wife to submit to somebody else’s husband
Eph 5:33 – husbands to love their own wives
Col 3:18 – wives to love their own husbands
Each belongs to each other
Friendships are important
The key relationship is the husband and wife, not friends, children or parents
Scope of submission
Eph 5:22-24 "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything"
Quite comprehensive
No part of our life that is our own (for husband and wife)
This does not mean she is a door mat, cannot disagree with her husband, a robot
Example of women who corrected the husbands – Zipphora, Abigail
To submit in the Lord
In the Lord’s will
According to God’s word
Examples
The husband is not like a sergeant major – the commands in the Lord should not be burdensome
How can a Christian wife submit to a non-Christian?
1 Pet 3:1-4 "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear."
A wife can win over her husband
A wife is not to be nagging but to have chaste conduct
What about a more outgoing and intelligent wife compared to a less outgoing and intelligent husband?
What if the wife is naturally more of a leader?
Advice from Dr Lloyd-Jones
Everything bar sin, bar defiling your own conscience, not being unable to challenge or help
In a good relationship respecting and learning from one another
Helps in submission
Submission is a big issue in Scripture:
To civil authority
To our manager
Children to parents
Obeying those in Church
All to submit to one another (Eph 5:21)
Why is it as men we might hone in on the submission of our wives but ignore these other areas?
Have we a genuine submissive spirit?
Titus 2:1-5 – the younger women need help from the older women
"the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands (v3-4)
To be encouraged to love your husband – examples
"to love their children" (v4) – examples
"to be discreet" (v5) – examples
be "chaste, homemakers" (v5) – examples
"good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed" (v5) – examples
Closing Remarks
There is more that could be said
What we are saying is against the feminist movement
